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Toilet training (or potty training) is the process of weaning a young child off diapers (nappies) and training him or her to use the toilet for urination and defecation. Potty training is usually done between the ages of eighteen-months and three years.
In order to remain gender neutral, We have used both he / she & male & female references throughout the document.
Readiness
It is important not to start toilet training until both parent and child are ready. One is ready when one is able to devote the time and energy necessary to encourage a child on a daily basis for at a minimum of 3 months.
A child is ready to begin toilet training when he or she can signal that his or her diaper (nappy) is wet, or that they need the toilet. This usually occurs between the ages of 18-24 months, but it is not uncommon for a child to still need diapers until 4 years of age.
According to Sigmund Freud, a child can have problems later in life if the training doesn't go well, or is too strict. For example, as an adult a person could strive for perfection or excessive cleanliness because they were too harshly trained. The current popular wisdom on this subject is that toilet training is a mutual task, requiring cooperation, agreement and understanding between both the child and the caregiver. It is strongly recommended that coercion and shame are not used as disciplinary instruction tools during this phase of development.
Pre-Toilet Training
There are five aspects to pre-toilet training.
1) Naming urine and bowel movements is the first. When you notice that your child has a wet or dirty diaper, mention what has happened, using the words that you have chosen. These words should be culture specific, and should be frequently used words in the normal everyday environment. Some examples of this words may be pee, poop and potty or toilet. It is advisable for you use culture specific or commonly known words, since if the child asks for example, at Kindergarten to use the toilet, not using a known word could severely complicate the issue and lead to accidental urination or defacation.
2) Allowing your child to watch you or other family members use the toilet. This provides the child with opportunities to see, ask questions, and learn. This is OK providing your family is comfortable with this idea.
3) It is also a good idea with children to introduce the idea of "Private Zones" on their bodies, since once at Kindergarten, other people may have to assist with helping the child, and its a good idea your child becomes aware of which parts of their body are considered "private".
4) Change your child's diaper as soon as possible after it becomes wet or dirty to prevent the child becoming comfortable with, or even liking, wet and dirty diapers. When you change a child's diaper, never make him/her feel bad for wetting or soiling it, or show any signs of disliking what you see or smell, but do not praise him/her.
If possible, change the diaper in the bathroom. This will accomplish a few important toilet training tasks before initiating training. Emptying the diaper into the toilet will help your child learn that the toilet is where his/her motions go. If you encourage the child to help flush the toilet, then s/he will learn how to flush.
5) Praise your child whenever s/he tells you verbally or with a gesture that they have urinated or defacated. Once the child develop voluntary control, s/he will tell you before the fact. Be sure to provide praise then, too.
Toilet Training
Toilet training takes time, effort and co-operation from both the parents and the child. Toilet training takes on average 3 months, however it may be much longer before your child is completely dry during the day. It is not uncommon for a child of 3 or 4 to still be having frequent wetting accidents, however, if by the age of 4 your child has still had no success at toilet training it may be worth visiting your family doctor to ensure that there is no underlying medical condition.
Keep your child in clothing that is easy to pull down and avoid buttons; also remember to avoid zips with little boys, since the injury of trapping the foreskin in the zip will set you back ages in your training. If your child has a strong urge and is wearing pants with waistbands, s/he may immediately pull them down and sit, as opposed to zips, buttons and belts where they have to learn to unbutton, undo or unzip first, something difficult for a child that age, which may end up in an accidental defecation or urination.
In the process of toilet training your child you might want to let your child walk around without diapers. This is good for helping the child recognize the urges easier.
You might find with some problems during this stage:
Being scared of the toilet. Some children may at one point during toilet training become scared of the toilet. If this is the case you need to find out why. Ask them why they are scared of the toilet and then convince them that there is nothing wrong. Many children are afraid of the flushing, so explain in easily understandable words that flushing is necessary to make the waste go away and that there is nothing to be scared about.
Needing to defecate with nothing on. Your child having a bowel movement while s/he is completely naked is nothing to worry about, unless s/he is straining too much. Some children do this because they find it easier to push the stools out while they are not wearing any clothes. But the problem comes when s/he always goes naked and makes some grunting noises indicating straining. This may indicate the child has some constipation problems. If this is just the way your child goes, try to find if s/he has any problem defecating with any clothes on and if s/he has, you need to find out why. Try telling your child to pull his/her pants around his knees and "going" that way. If s/he has no problem, tell him/her to go that way most of the time. The reason this must be done is because when going out, your child might get the urge and when "going" that way in public restrooms, your child stands a risk of infections, especially when the feet are touching the floor.
Witholding stools. Your child just needs one painful bowel movement to become afraid of going. S/he may want to hold the stool in order to prevent having another painful one, and the more your child holds it in, the harder and dryer the stool will become, causing the next bowel movement to be more painful, therefore trying to hold again, which may lead to constipation. You may want to increase the fibre in your childs diet in order to make it easier for your child to go.
You can do this by mixing it with some of his favorite food. Painful bowel movements may also be the reason your child asks for a diaper to use. In cases of extreme witholding of stools, you may see symptoms similar to those of diarrhea. This is due to watery motions behind the constipated stool leaking round it and out of the anus. This is an extreme emergency, and if you notice this, you should take your child to your nearest E.R. The condition is called "Compaction" and can cause severe damage to the bowel wall.
If you have twins, it is better to have two potties in case both of them feel the urge at the same time, which happens a lot in twins. You must also treat both of them equally; however, if one has been improving, keep encouraging and focusing on him while not forgetting about the other one.
Toilet Training Girls
Because of the female anatomy, girls and women generally urinate sitting down. Girls should be taught to wipe from "front to back" after using the bathroom. This helps prevent the bacteria in feces from coming into contact with the vagina, helping to keep it free from infection. Wishing to urinate while standing:
If a girl has seen her father, male friend, or a sibling standing up while urintating, she may want to try it. One may wish to let, as she is curious. Cleaning up puddles may be necessary, but she may get the idea that it is more practical for her to urinate sitting down. If she persists, having someone explain why females urinate the way they do may help.
Toilet Training while travelling
Parents often ask what to do if they are traveling with a child who is being potty trained, and also if they should stop the potty training process. The answer to this is no. Parents should not stop the process. In fact, this should be an opportunity to teach your child about going to the bathroom away from home.
Here are some hints to help parents out:
Go before you go: Your child will need to learn that s/he'll sometimes have to use a bathroom before a long trip, even if she doesn't feel a strong need at the time.
Bring extra clothes: Accidents happen, so be prepared with extra pants/skirts/dresses, underwear, shoes and socks if s/he accidentally urinates or defacates.
Bring wipes: Bring toilet paper or wipes in case a bathroom is not available, or if there is no toilet paper.
Where to go: Away from home, teach your child to recognize rest room signs, and encourage him/her to use public bathrooms whenever the need arises. Many kids find toilets fascinating, so compare new toilets with the ones at home. Children under the age of 6 should be accompanied by an adult when using a public restroom.
Teaching sitting and squatting' When away from home, if you find only squat toilets or don't find a bathroom, teach the child how to squat for defecating and for both for girls.
Urinating / Defacating in the Car: You should consider keeping a potty chair in the car to eliminate the need to find a rest room in the event of a potty emergency. However, if your child is desperate enough and you didn’t bring a potty with you, then you can always let your little boy use a jar or can, or for little girls, a plastic bucket can work if you ensure a good fit for her.
Urinating Outdoors: Sometimes a bathroom won’t be available when your child has to use the toilet, so you may have to teach them how to urinate outdoors. This isn't a problem for boys, but little girls must learn to squat so their feet and clothing are out of the way. You can help your daughter by showing her the appropriate position and physically supporting her as she squats. Please also be aware that in some countries, this is forbidden by law if the child is over a certain age.
See also
"Toilet training"