article

The lightbulb joke is an example of an endless-variations joke and has possibly thousands of versions covering every imaginable culture, belief, occupation and special-interest group. Generally the punchline is not complimentary to the group providing the subject of the joke.

The generally acknowledged "original" goes as follows:

Q: How many chosen group here does it take to change a lightbulb?
A-1: Ten — one to hold the lightbulb and nine to turn the ladder around.

Basic Variations

Even the original is subject to variation, the most common involving more people turning the entire house around.

Once the subject is chosen, variations on the joke tend to achieve their comedic effect by highlighting features of the cultural or social group based on altering five main variables:

  • the quantity (ten, three, two, none, millions) of light bulb changers can be adjusted in unexpected ways in the punchline
Q: How many martians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One and a half.

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1.0±0.3, 19 times out of 20.

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a hardware problem.

Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "We'll fix it in software."

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 0.(9) (See examples of vacuous truth)

''Q: How many monkeys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
''A: Three; one to screw in the lightbulb, and two to throw feces at each other.

''Q: How many jazz musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
''A: Five; one screws in the lightbulb, and four discuss how Miles Davis would have done it.

  • the duration can be introduced as a variable, usually if the answer is "one"
Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes eight million years.

Q: How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it'll take him five episodes to do it.

Q: How many inhabitants of Florida does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I don't know. They are still counting.

Q: How many R&D engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but afterwards he'll learn that it had already been changed in a more clever way.

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Any number, but they always screw it up.

Q: How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, the same as it takes anywhere else.

Q: How many men does it take to install a light bulb?
A: Three. One to install it, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing''.

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only two, but God knows how they got in there!

Q: How many nuns does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
''A: Zero. Nuns are sworn to a vow of chastity.

  • the word light can be used to mock or highlight the attitude of the subject towards light or darkness
Q: How many Zen gurus does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None; only the inner light matters.

''Q: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
''A: None. They prefer to sit in the dark and cry.

  • the word change can refer either to replacing a light bulb or making a cultural or structural change
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but only if the lightbulb really wants to change.

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the chances for a relapse are high.

Q: How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Borg would rather assimilate the lightbulb than change it.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Feminists can't change anything

Other variations exist that achieve their effect through dramatic alteration of the joke paradigm itself; for example, by revealing the joke variables in an extremely long fashion.

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fish

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to a previous joke.

Q: How many Vietnam veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You'll never understand, you weren't there.

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter how many you have, none of them will ever trust any of the others to hold the ladder steady.

Light bulb jokes are sometimes used as a passive revenge to poke fun at those who have become socially prominent, especially if the possibility of underhanded means exists:

''Q: How many senior Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
''A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness™ as the standard.

A further variation plays with the structure of the joke itself (often only making comedic sense when read as part of a list of regular lightbulb jokes). For example:

''Q: One
''A: How many time-travellers does it take to change a lightbulb?

  • In Britain, a common version is:
Q: How many ______ students does it take to change a lightbulb? (where ______ is the name of a university.)

Punchlines include:

Cambridge: ''One, but they have to wait till the weekend when Daddy can come and do it for them.
Durham: ''Ten - one to change the lightbulb and nine to moan about how they didn't get into Oxbridge
Oxford: ''Change?!
LSE: ''One, and they do it just as well as a Cambridge student!

Geographical or ethnic variations

General all-purpose ethnic version

This generic usability prompted one commentator to create the "all-purpose ethnic version" which reads as follows:

Q: How many members of a (given demographic group) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 'N+1 (where N > 0)' — one to hold the lightbulb and N to behave in a fashion generally associated with a negative stereotype of that group.

There is no uniformity as to the target of derision: in America it has been the Polish people, while Poles poke fun at Russians and Americans. In Great Britain it is the Irish who are lampooned (in Wales it is the "Cardis"). In Australia the New Zealanders are the target of the jokes, and in New Zealand the Australians are made fun of. The Canadians target their own Newfoundlanders, or "newfies". The jokes are by no means limited to English-speaking countries. For example, the Russians tell the same joke about the Moldavians, Chukchi and Ukrainians. The Ukrainians, in turn, tell it about Russians; the Spanish make fun of the inhabitants of Lepe, while the Colombians make fun of the inhabitants of Nariño, and the rest of the Spanish-speaking population laugh at the Galicians; the Brazilians mock the Portuguese; the Portuguese mock the Brazilians; the Norwegians laugh at their Swedish neighbours, and conversely, the Swedes tell the same joke about Norwegians; the Germans target the East Frisians; The Dutch and French target their Belgian neighbours, the Costa Ricans joke about foreigners from Nicaragua, and the Indians target the Pakistanis. The Finns target everyone, including themselves.

See also

External links

Humor-related lists | Jokes

Wikipedia:Humorarchiv/Glühbirnen-Witz | Chiste del bombillo | 電球ジョーク

 

This article is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License. It uses material from the "Lightbulb joke".

Home Page • arts • business • computers • games • health • hospitals • home • kids & teens • news • physicians • recreation• reference • regional • science • shopping • society • sports • world