Involuntary celibacy is the failure to establish an intimate relationship or engage in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for adults who - despite general expectations - have not had these experiences so far, or only very little of it.

An Involuntary celibate person, is someone who fails to initiate or sustain a sexual or even romantic relationship, despite the desire to experience such a relationship. Victims may complain of loneliness and are often mistaken for homosexuals who are hiding their sexuality (though this is not to say, of course, that gays are never affected by involuntary celibacy). Causes may include lack of sex appeal, shyness, poor social skills, love-shyness, or social isolation. There is some degree of debate concerning the precise duration of the celibacy needed to "qualify" for the Involuntary celibate label. On the one hand, some people class themselves as Involuntary celibate because they are not in a relationship at the moment, though they have been in the recent past and are likely to be again. Critics to this view would suggest that the proper label for this is simply being 'Single', which unlike Involuntary celibate is in common usage and does not carry potential social stigma. Others have literally never been involved in a sexual relationship.

There is also debate on the use of the word 'involuntary'. Involuntary celibates who choose not to engage the services of a prostitute for ethical or legal reasons could be viewed as accepting their celibacy voluntarily - in the extreme, it might even be argued that the refusal to rape a member of the opposite sex implies a voluntary aspect to celibacy. Whilst such views are not commonly supported amongst the Involuntary celibate community, it is more debatable whether a person qualifies as an Involuntary celibate if he or she "merely" has high standards in assessing a potential mate and therefore does not have a relationship for a protracted time.

Involuntary celibacy is not recognised by most experts in psychology, virtually no research has been published, and no statistics are available. It does not appear to be a concept taken seriously beyond those who experience it. However, the associated manifestations of Involuntary celibate are: severe depression, self-harm, mental illness and even suicide. The condition can sometimes be associated with Asperger syndrome. They may also have psychological phenomena known as 'learned helplessness' and Fundamental Attribution Error.

'Learned helplessness' means, due to the negative conditioning experienced after successive rejections by people of interest, they may assume other potential prospects, who may be really interested in them, are going to also reject them, and every 'signal' of interest may be interpreted harshly, or as not applicable due to that state of mind. Fundamental Attribution Error is the tendency to see people as being mean or shallow towards them when they have experienced a rejection of some form, as opposed to considering other situational or environmental factors behind that behaviour.

For example, it would be improper to jump to a conclusion that one is undesirable simply because they went to a supermarket and a cashier brushed them off when they tried to crack a joke. There could be many situational or environmental reasons to the cashier's reaction that has nothing to do with whether or not one is attractive. Perhaps the cashier is in a bad mood, or maybe you caught her when she was having a bad day, or maybe she has some other problems in her life you do not know about.

However, it does not necessarily have anything to do with mental illness nor need it lead to such action taking place.

People who are unable to engage in sexual activities due to medical limitations are termed Medcel (or MEDically CELibate).

Married couples who do not engage in sexual activities are termed Marcel (or MARriage CELibate).

See also

• Asexuality
• Unrequited love

External links

• Incelsite
• Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis - Statistical Data Included (Journal of Sex Research, May 2001)
• For many sexless lifestyle is not a choice

Non-sexuality | Psychological conditions

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