I Love Lisa

"I Love Lisa" is an episode from the fourth season of The Simpsons, in which the dim-witted and socially-awkward Ralph Wiggum plays a prominent role.

Synopsis

On Valentine's Day in Springfield, Lisa's class begins constructing paper mailboxes for all the cards they are about to receive. When Ralph gets no cards and begins to cry, Lisa hastily gives him a card out of sympathy. Ralph immediately cheers up, and develops a romantic interest in his classmate.

Ralph begins to annoy Lisa at every turn, following her home and discussing his medical maladies. Lisa tries to escape the situation, but Ralph uses his position as the police chief's son to get her tickets to Krusty's upcoming 29th Anniversary Special, as well as a leading part for himself in a President's Day Pageant in which Lisa also stars. In a dramatic upset, Ralph received the role of George Washington in a segment about that president's life, beating out an obviously more talented classmate, who complained to no avail. Conveniently, Lisa as Martha Washington will be Ralph's "wife."

With Homer having convinced Lisa that nothing can go wrong at Krusty's show, Lisa and Ralph go together. On live air, Krusty begins interviewing audience members, and Ralph takes the opportunity to declare that Lisa is the love of his life and that he intends to marry her. Lisa finally loses her temper and angrily tells Ralph they are not boyfriend and girlfriend, and that the only thing she feels for him is pity.

Ralph is humiliated, and Lisa soon regrets her actions, particularly after Bart replays the incident on videotape. Ralph bemoans his situation to his father, but the only way Chief Wiggum can respond is to break out Homer's taillight after a traffic stop.

On the night of the play, students sing about the lesser-known U.S. Presidents, and Bart plays John Wilkes Booth, perhaps modelling his performance after The Terminator. Surprisingly, Ralph proves to be a very good actor, inspiring the school bullies to study American history. He even moves Groundskeeper Willie to tears. The play ends with an animatronic Mount Rushmore singing "From sea to shining sea."

Afterward, Ralph signs autographs and greets well-wishers. Lisa also approaches, and gives him a new card, reading "Let's bee ^* friends." Ralph accepts the offer.

Valentine's Day in Springfield

Grampa scoffs at the holiday, until he sees Jasper enjoying a card from his granddaughter.
Bart paints insults on candy hearts. Principal Skinner catches on and reminds the school that Valentine's Day is no joke, and in the process lapses into a Vietnam flashback.
Moe receives a Valentine's Day card from a "secret admirer", who turns out to be Barney.
The radio station accidentally plays "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett instead of a love song; they make the mistake again on President's Day.
Lunch Lady Doris served beef hearts for lunch on Valentine's day, even though they were dumped on the dirty school kitchen floor.

Trivia

This episode establishes Ralph as Chief Wiggum's son.
Al Jean, (show runner for this episode), really did receive a Valentine from a girl in third grade that read "I Choo-choo-choose you." Subsequently, his wife had it enscribed on his wedding band.

Cultural references

I Love Lucy — The episode's title is inspired by the classic sit-com.
Sweethearts candy — Bart paints his trademark phrases (e.g., "U Stink", "Eat my shorts") on candy hearts, just like the conversational candies.
Valentine's Day cards — The Valentine's Day cards Ralph gets from Lisa — "I Choo-choo-choose you!" and "Let's Bee Friends" — are just like those children trade with each other in school. Ralph makes both cards points of conversation with Lisa.
The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson — Krusty's set of his talk show (shown in archived clips) is just like the legendary late-night talk show. One of his guests is a Joan Embry-like zoologist, whose exotic creature relieves itself on Krusty's head (just like the marmoset did on The Tonight Show).
Star Trek — Groundskeeper Willie does his best impression of Scotty when complaining about having to water down the drinks ("My God man. I've watered it down as far as she'll go, I cannot water it no more!")
The Terminator — Bart does his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression while portraying John Wilkes Booth in the school play.
The Doors — Krusty sings The Doors song "Break On Through" during the seventies look-back.
My Bloody Valentine — This is both the name of a British rock group, a horror movie, and the Itchy & Scratchy episode featured.

Quotes

Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him. But I only gave him a valentine 'cause I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity: where would my love life have been without it?
Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?
Marge: Well, honey-
Homer: Let me handle this, Marge. I've heard 'em all. (counting them off on his fingers) "I like you as a friend," "I think we should see other people," "I no speak English,"
Lisa: I get the idea.
Homer: "I'm married to the sea," "I don't want to kill you, but I will..."
Ralph: …the doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose-bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.
(on the way to Krusty's 29th Anniversary Special):
Lisa: Chief Wiggum, how did you ever get these tickets?
Chief Wiggum: Krusty knows how to play ball.
(flashback scene in porno theatre)
Chief Wiggum: Ah…nothing beats a good porno movie.
Krusty: Chief Wiggum! Is this a bust?
Chief Wiggum: Uh, yeah! That's just what it is. A bust.
(flashback ends)
Lisa: That story isn’t suitable for children!
Chief Wiggum: Really? I keep my pants on in this version.
(Chief Wiggum smashes Homer's taillight during a traffic stop)
Homer: Ya know...one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops!
Chief Wiggum (in a worried voice): They are?...oh no!...have they set a date??
Miss Hoover: Bart, do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac?
Groundskeeper Willie: I dinna cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig. But I'll cry now.
Singers:
We are the mediocre presidents.
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents
There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore and there's Hayes.
There's William Henry Harrison, “I died in thirty days!”
We, are, the, adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable
Caretaker presidents of the USA!
Milhouse (as Abe Lincoln): I thought that Civil War would never end. Now to soothe my head with an evening at Ford's Theatre. (gasps as Bart comes in, dressed in a tux) Oh, no! John Wilkes Booth!
Bart (as John Wilkes Booth, but speaking in an Arnold Schwarzenegger-like accent): Hasta la vista, Abie. (struggles with Milhouse)
Homer: Come on, boy! Finish him off!
Bart (still in accent): You're next, Chester A. Arthur! (as Mrs Hoover carries him away) Unhand me, Yankee!
Moe: (Reading Valentine's Card) Dear Moe, Happy Valentine's, from your secret admirer.
Barney: Yoohoo! (Waves a tissue at Moe)
Moe: Oh, dear god no!
Bart: Hey girls, check out this president! (drops his pants to reveal a Richard Nixon-like face pasted on his butt) (imitating Nixon) I am not a butt!

External links