The Order of Wen the Eternally Surprised, better known as the History Monks, and also sometimes referred to as the Men In Saffron (see Men in Black) and No Such Monastery (see NSA), is a highly secretive religious organisation in the Discworld novels of Terry Pratchett, based in the Monastery of Oi-Dong. They are one of a large number of vaguely Buddhist monastic orders that occupy the high Ramtops, near where the Disc's Unnamed Continent meets the Counterweight Continent. The area is described in the books as "Enlightenment country".

The role of The Order

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The Order first appears in Small Gods where they are described as having the responsibility of observing significant events so that they become history, instead of just things happening. They also have responsibility to see history follows the right track, as set out in the huge History Books. They are a Discworld equivalent of the Time Lords from Doctor Who.

In Thief of Time we learn this is a simplification, and the main role of the monastery is to ensure anything happens at all. To do this, they have a number of methods for moving and storing time, namely one by means of spinning cylinders called "procrastinators", which look like Tibetan prayer wheels and are evocative of the Tipler Cylinder theory. (It having been established as early as Wyrd Sisters that people's perception of time affects its flow on the Disc, the Monks must ensure this does not become a problem, by, as an example, taking some time from the middle of the ocean ('how much time does a codfish need?') and putting it in Ankh Morpork.)

They also frequently need to enter the world, to take a more direct hand in events. It is for this reason that a number of monks have been trained as ninjas. Many of them have since been retrained by Lu-Tze, who believes most problems can be sorted out without resorting to martial arts.

Because of the Order's control of Time, the valley is permanently reliving a perfect day, with the cherry blossom beginning to fall. Which is too bad if you actually want cherries.

Members

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Lu-Tze

Main article: Lu-Tze

Lu-Tze appeared in Small Gods and had a substantial role in Thief of Time, in which we learn that he is not a monk at all, but "merely" a sweeper at the Monastery of Oi-Dong. In fact, he uses the same trick (that no-one notices a sweeper) in the monastery as he does when out in the world, and has learnt as much about the nature of time as some of the higher monks simply by tidying up the classrooms. Everyone knows that Lu-Tze is one of the best, but few realise who he actually is. He is described as being somewhat short, bald, wrinkly, and with a scrubby beard. He smokes little cigarettes, in much the same way that Nobby Nobbs does. He also looks 'generically ethnic' so that he could have come from anywhere. Lu-Tze enjoys making and keeping gardens, and is highly skilled with a broom or rake or similar tool (when he raked a gravel path at the Citadel in Omnia (Small Gods) he left curves and scallop patterns which looked so nice that Brutha felt guilty about walking on them.) Lu-Tze, while he almost never uses martial arts, is renowned as a terror in the enlightenment country. At dojos across the mountains, students have Rule One drilled into their heads ("Never act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man"). When he does use martial arts, Lu-Tze is unmatched. He is the only person who knows 'deja fu', a fighting style in which the hands move in time as well as space. He later appears in Night Watch, in order to assist Samuel Vimes' attempt to return to his own time

Lobsang Ludd

Lobsang was raised by the Thieves Guild of Ankh-Morpork, but was discovered by Soto of the History Monks when Lobsang performed the Stance of the Coyote (personalized time shift) in order to save his own life after falling from a rooftop. Afterwards he was raised in the Temple, where he confounded his teachers by knowing too much. Eventually he was apprenticed to Lu-Tze and went out into the world to stop the second Glass Clock, which was being constructed by his temporal double, Jeremy Clockson.

It is revealed that he is the son of Wen the Eternally Surprised and the personification of Time. After fusing with Jeremy he inherited all of Time's powers, and eventually took over her role.

It is hinted that he is in a romantic relationship with Susan Sto Helit, who shares his problems of being half human and half anthropomorphic personification; Lobsang simply inherited a greater deal of power from his non-human ascendant than she did. His incarnation of Jeremy had romantic inclinations to Myria LeJean, the first embodied Auditor, who shared the feeling but wasn't able to express it, due firstly to Jeremy's nullification and secondly due to her committing suicide via 10 000 gallon vat of chocolate at the end of Thief of Time.

The name may be a reference to Lobby Ludd, one of the fictitious names used by British newspapers in their You are X and I claim my five pounds promotions in the 1930s and to Lobsang Rampa, an English supposed reincarnated monk.

Other members

• Wen the Eternally Surprised. The founder of the order, and the writer of the History Books. Wen was the first person to fully grasp the nature of time, and is involved in a relationship with the personification of Time. He could be likened to the Buddha, and his name could be a play on "when".

• Clodpool the Apprentice. Wen's extremely stupid apprentice. Wen apparently stated that if Clodpool could learn his teachings, anyone could.

• The Abbot. One of the wisest minds on the Disc, capable of thinking in sixteen dimensions. He has not acquired the "circular-aging" ability of the other monks, however, and must therefore reincarnate. (He could be compared to the Dalai Lama in this sense.) His body is about a year old during Thief of Time, though his mind is certainly many centuries old.

• Qu. A mechanically-minded, white-haired monk with a fascination for things that go bang. Qu invents most of the weaponry that the order's martial artists take on their missions into the world. He is based on the James Bond character Q.

• Marco Soto. A monk with a huge ponytail, he claims he does have a shaved head and the hair is a separate entity. One of a number of History Monks based in Ankh-Morpork. A student of Lu-Tze, he knows there are many ways for a monk to become invisible, but the best is to be holding a begging-bowl. Devoted to peace and cosmic harmony, as long as no-one touches his hair. He is named after a Discworld fan who won a charity auction to appear as a cameo character.

• Soon Shine Sun. Another monk based in Ankh-Morpork. Soon Shine Sun runs the second-hand clothes shop ("shonky" shop) next to the Order's Ankh-Morpork temple. He avoids awkward questions by feigning a near total lack of the Morporkian language.

Discworld | Fictional religions | Discworld characters