"" is the seventh episode of The Simpsons' sixth season.

Synopsis

Bart and Lisa are playing Cowboys and Indians with their friends, until their game is interrupted by their parents, who want them to go to church, among other things. In church, Bart is bored and is not listening to Reverend Lovejoy's sermon. Lovejoy's daughter, Jessica, reads the very same sermon. Seeing her, Bart is delighted by her, thinking his search for a girl is finally over. However, when he approaches her, she ignores him. The next Sunday, Bart decides to be in Sunday school, and tries to be nice to her. Again, she ignores him. Frustrated, Bart goes to the park to play a prank on Groundskeeper Willie at the Scotchtoberfest, which turns out to be a setup by Principal Skinner. Bart is punished with three months of detention. Jessica then asks him to dinner with her family. He accepts.

At the Lovejoy house, Bart is kicked out for allegedly swearing after Rev. Lovejoy hears him say the word "butt." Jessica instantly sees Bart as a bad boy, and she finds him very interesting. He sees Jessica as being "smart, beautiful, and a liar". They go out on the town, vandalizing landmarks and having the time of their lives. Bart, however, develops a problem with seeing her. Lisa suggests that Bart not see Jessica for three months. He agrees, but when he goes to church, he sits next to Jessica, who steals the money from the church collection plate, and puts the plate in Bart's lap. The congregation declares Bart the perpetrator of the theft, and indicts him as a thief and a crook. However, Chief Wiggum cannot officially charge or arrest Bart due to lack of evidence. Homer is furious at Bart for supposedly stealing, Marge believes that her son is innocent, and Bart later reveals the truth to Lisa, who vows not to let her brother take the blame for this.

The next week in church, Lisa tells the congregation that they should not indict Bart, and she wants all people considering themselves guilty to confess to a bad thing they did. She waits for the real culprit to come foward, but Jessica stays silent. Lisa then suggests the congregation search Jessica's room. The money is found hidden under Jessica's bed, and she eventually admits to stealing, wanting attention from her parents. Rev. Lovejoy still will not admit to the evidence, and the whole town apologizes to Bart for not believing him. In the end, Jessica finds a new boyfriend, but she remains intrigued with Bart, who did not rat her out and, in turn, is still attracted to her.

Quotes

• Skinner: There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!
  Willy: There's not?! You used me Skinner! You used me!
• Bart (at dinner, after being asked what six times five is): Actually, numbers don't have much use in my future career: Olympic gold medal rocket sled champ!
  Mrs. Lovejoy: Hmmm. I didn't know the rocket sled was an Olympic event.
  Bart: Well, no offense, lady, but what you didn't know could fill a warehouse. (adults gasp)
  Rev. Lovejoy: Young man, explain yourself!
  Bart: Sorry. I have a kind of a short fuse, which some find charming. Speaking of charming, watching FOX last night, I heard a rather amusing story. This character named Martin was feeling rather randy, and he was heard to remark...
  (We cut to Lovejoy kicking Bart out the front door;)
  Rev. Lovejoy: And don't you EVER come near my daughter again! NEVER have I heard such gratuitous use of the word "butt!"
  Bart: But—but—but—
  Mrs. Lovejoy: (plugging her ears) Make him stop! Make him stop!
• Bart: She's like a Milk Dud, Lis. Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.
• Lisa: Don't be so hard on yourself, Bart. It's not your fault Jessica doesn't like you.
  Bart: Is it my hair? My overbite? The fact that I've worn the same clothes day in, day out for the last four years?
• Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
  Homer: New glasses?
  Marge: No...He looks like something might be disturbing him.
  Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
  Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
  Homer: Yeah. And then we'd get the chair.
  Marge: That's not what I meant.
  Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
• Jessica: Remember, I'm the sweet, perfect minister's daughter...and you're just yellow trash.
• Rev. Lovejoy: Bart somehow moved his room into my house! (no one understands what he means) Oh, come on, people! Use your imagination!
• Rev. Lovejoy: We brought you home from school too early.
  Jessica: I was expelled, Dad.
  (tries to make clear that she was making trouble, while the Reverend drowns her out with "Bringing in the Sheaves")
• Bart: You don't understand. Her hair is like silk, her smile is perfect, and her breath...smells like Fruit Loops.
  Lisa: Yeah? Well, I eat Fruit Loops for breakfast!

External links

Simpsons episodes